Kanye hearts United Airlines

I could have peed on Kanye. Well not myself personally, but someone is totally thinking that if they read the latest issue of Paste. On a vaguely defined flight "down the East Coast," Kanye had his Japanese backpack (someone is too cool for third grade) inadvertanely tinkled on. The culprit, a leaky airplane lavatory.

This humors me. Kanye, who is possibly the flashiest man on earth flies f'ing commercial. Me and my frequent flyer miles think this is a joke. My Japanese murse also thinks this is a joke. In the story Kanye says that just about everyone, but 10 big time entertainers fly commerical. I seriously doubt this. Jon Travolta owns a 747, therefore math tells me that Kanye should at least own a prop plane. Regardless, it makes for nice dinner conversation when you can say that your father is arguably just as well off as say, a multimillionaire who walks around covered in gold. Dad totally just scored about 15 points. This just ruined my day/life because Dad is somehow on the same level (relatively) as Kanye. Fortunately, pops cannot sample something from the 1970s and speed it up while adding drums. Point, Kanye.

Later in the story, Kanye says that the track "Drunk and Hot Girls" is going to be the most talked about on the album. "Out of every song I've done in my life, this one defines me the most," he says in the article. This song is horrible. There's a point in the track when he and Mos Def don't rhyme, but mearly moan to the beat. I assume Kanye is messing with the reporter. Or at least I hope he is. This song makes "Hey There Deliliah" seem fantastic. In actuality, I believe it was karma that peed on Kanye.
- Kevin Almasy