Heroes vs. Lost

What the hell is going on with Heroes? Its like the writers from the second season of Lost decided to jump on my new fav show and turn it into crap! I could easily point out which new characters from Heroes are just recycled, clean-faced, showered versions of the lamest Lost characters ever.



Elle = Ana Lucia

Both Elle and Ana Lucia show up as the new significant bad ass girls, ready to mark their territory. Elle is now the primary ass-kicker, zapping people with her lightning bolts while Nikki sulks around the mental house trying to cure herself. Ana Lucia takes charge of the other side of the island once they reveal that there are other survivors, showing that she likes pushing people around, knocking Sawyer around when she sees fit and killing random dudes AND poor Shannon. Poor Kate looks like a plain ol' southern belle next to her. Everyone hated Ana Lucia and she got shot. Hopefully Elle will just get zapped by Peter and he can go back to not having an identity crisis.



Monica = mysterious smoke cloud

Ok. So the smoke cloud is technically from the 1st season of Lost, but makes several appearances in the 2nd (read below). Why is it annoying? Because you are so involved in season one that you buy the dvd, play that shit in slow motion, and see which images you can make out of what is lingering in it. Why is it comparable to Monica? Because she's mimicing everything she sees, a.k.a. miss "As Seen on TV", and if you were any kind of nerd like me, you saw that the smoke cloud had images from people's memories in it. She has no idea what she is doing, and everyone has no idea what kind of menace that smoke cloud is.



Maya + Alejandro = Nikki + Paulo

Nikki and Paulo were 2 of the lamest characters I have ever seen in Lost. You don't know where they were during the first 2 seasons, then they spend an entire episode showing that they were on the island the entire time. Funny, because I never noticed them before, and I don't care to notice them now. Nikki is some sad excuse for a girlfriend for Paulo, who ends up truly being in love with her, and how does she return the love? By paralyzing him w/a spider bite and getting bit herself, ultimately getting mistaken for dead and buried alive. Stoopid girls and their games. Maya and Alejandro aren't too far behind in this lame fest, because Maya is death herself and Alejandro is right behind her, cleaning up her mess. Just wait til Maya gets cured Alejandro, cuz she's gonna ditch your ass for someone with money and diamonds and a better power than yours!



West = Alex

Both suffer the I-was-kidnapped-now-I'm-emo syndrome. They also have some serious daddy issues. West unknowingly hates Claire's father because he snagged and tagged him. Alex hates her father because he kidnapped her boyfriend and tried to brainwash him. Not only that, but the first thing Alex does when she is finally reunited with her mother is tie her crazy father up. Maybe Alex is more like Claire in most ways, but West's unrelenting need for attention is more comparable.



Takezo Kensei = Mr. Eko

Mr. Eko was totes cool right up until he died under the hands of mysterious black cloud of smoke. This total bad ass character gets killed off by a cloud of smoke? Lame. He was also this total gangster back before he got to the island, but then the death of his priest brother changed his ways. He, in turn, became a servant of God on the island. Similarly, Takezo was supposed to be a Japanese legend, and he's some English dude with a drinking problem? I so thought we'd be in the clear when he got arrowed so Hiro could be the real hero. But no, Hiro sobers him up and now Takezo is hell bent on fulfilling his destiny. Hiro should just get himself to the island while he's at it and save Boon.

-Lizelle