The new, old, renamed, recasted (kinda) Laguna Beach

I feel the need to preface my forthcoming words: In addition to being a sports freak, I also have an obession with cable. A bad one.

That being said, being home with the 'rents for the first time in six weeks affords me the opportunity to use one of God's greatest gifts that this debt-riddled grad student can't afford -- DVR. I love DVR because it allows me to rationalize watching garbage because I can skip commercials. It makes sense in my head.

In preparing DVR to tape The Hills Season 3 premiere (which was OK. I have this thing with Audrina's face -- I feel that her face is made of clay and can be molded. My opinions on this are well documented). Anyway, I see this show, Newport Harbor. Now, I decide to record it, assuming it's in the Laguna Beach/Maui Fever vein (which it is). My former roommate Dan and I have spent hours debating the relevancy of these shows. He believes that the fact that they assert that everything (including the drama) is real makes them anything but. I assert that Kristin Cavallari was just smarter than we are and is now, because of previous smartness, much richer than we are, while less educated. Again, anyway, my main point is that Newport Harbor is freaky.

Unlike Maui Fever, which was set in another state and had an older cast (including a guy who has a cameo in Lords of Dogtown, which again was a point of contention, because then how real is Maui Fever?), its own theme song (Overseer's "Horndog") and had its own similar yet completely different feel (kinda). Newport Harbor is, like the same show as Laguna Beach. Identical twin same. It uses the H. Duff theme song ("Let the Rain Fall"), has the "real Orange County" opening, introduces the entire cast within the first minute of the pilot by way of showing how everyone has hooked up with everyone else, and has a main protagonist who appears to be LC's cousin or body/life double. There is also another girl who is tabbed as the one who steals other people's boyfriends (um hello, Kristin). LC lookalike in middle, boy stealer on right.

This scares me for a couple of reasons. One, that I am freaked out that I noticed this. Two, MTV is literally trying to repackage a new show by simply changing the name and (literally) nothing else. There is even the same subtitle that asserts that everything within the next 30 minutes of my life is real drama. Three, how did they find a LC lookalike? She's a scary lookalike. Like, better than TV Guide's lookalike, and I assume this girl wasn't trying to look like LC (or maybe she was).

Now, does MTV assume that its viewers just want more of the same, or are they literally attempting to see what they can do without anyone noticing? I also had a feeling of guilt for watching NH and spurning my LB bretheren. Did MTV just decide that their drama wasn't real enough, so they moved 11 miles north (Google Maps tells me this is a 24-minute drive)? I also wonder why the title is Newport Harbor and not Newport Beach; did MTV feel that only changing a word in the premise of a show based off of another show about the same thing was not enough? My head is spinning. I feel like this is what Chuck Klosterman must feel like for at least two hours a day. I now have more admiration for him, more distain for MTV and a longing for Trey from Season 1 of LB. - Kevin