Bitch Is Back
If you were at Target or, say, in the UR offices on deadline and missed the first four minutes of the VMAs, you missed a fair amount of Britney's ass shelf and really poor lip synching. Britney now also enjoys "dancing" as if she had a pole surgically rammed up her tush. Her body does look good again though. Now, I would say it is nowhere near as good as it was in the "Slave 4 U" video, but she also wasn't fat, ugly or chewing gum neurotically. I would rate her as a 7 in a male chauvinistic kind of way. Here is a short exchange between myself and a too cool UR assistant editor that sums up the aforementioned "performance" in a live blogging type of way. Enjoy, kids. - Kevin Almasy
Me: Oh snap, here comes Britney. OK, so she's lip synching, but she looks hot again.
Kim: Dammit, don't give me the play by play.
Kim: Wait, nevermind, what kind of magic is she doing?
Me: None yet, I see no Criss Angel.
Kim: Is the dancing good or has she lost it?
Me: Her lip synching is atrocious. She's not really dancing, more lightly prancing.
Kim: Ew. Doesn't sound like the dazzling performance we were hoping for...
Me: Oh, here comes some hardcore prancing again.
Me: It's over and there was no magic.
Kim: Nothing good? No make out sessions with, like, Celine Dion or anything?
Me: No.
Kim: Wow, that's so lame.
Me: Basically it showcased that Britney is no longer fat.
Kim: Lovely
6 comments:
She definitely phoned it in on that one.
Normally, when popstars are lip-synching they make up for it by dancing and twirling and jumping around. Unfortunately, Brit not only lip-synched poorly, but farted around the stage like a pregnant yak.
awwww.. doesn't anyone feel the least bit of sympathy? i waned britney to KILL it- in all of her madonna-kissing, snake-wielding, glitter-bodysuit-wearing glory. i could barely watch her... she looked like she didn't even care.
Kevin, you're all sorts of awesome, but you need glasses. A 7? Really? C'mon.
bitch can't sing. or dance.
GAME OVER, man, GAME OVER!
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