Be nice. Just ask her to dance.

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Halloween is over. There are no more excuses to walk around with a dick in a box. Do something nice for a girl in a bar and do not ask her to open your package. Instead, ask her if she'd like a drink, then ask her to dance to the stimulating beats of DJ Mother Hubbard, Bald Eagle, and special guest DJs Sweatshop Labor NYC who will be at Life During Wartime. Get to Darkroom (2210 W. Chicago Ave.) before 11 p.m. and its free. And when I say "girl in a bar," I mean "me."
-Lizelle